


To See What You See

by scifigeek14



Series: Conversations [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Loki decides to have a heart to heart, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), he is also a sneakier than loki thinks, he is disarming, i'd spill my secrets to him, loki monologues a little bit, this one leads directly into the next convo, with heimdall of all people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 14:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14334321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifigeek14/pseuds/scifigeek14
Summary: Loki is surprised to hear that the man who is supposedly all-knowing has so many questions.





	To See What You See

 

“Hello Loki.” Heimdall hailed Loki the moment he entered the room, without turning around. Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. He was sure that Heimdall would be able to see it.

“Greetings, good Heimdall.” Loki responded, only half teasing, and walking farther into the room. He stopped alongside Heimdall who was staring out the window into space and followed his gaze into the darkness.

“How fairs the Prince of Asgard this evening?” Heimdall asked. Loki saw a smirk on his face out of the corner of his eye. He echoed it with a small smile of his own.

“I’m fine. And how fairs Asgard’s gatekeeper?”

“Fine. Not so much a gatekeeper with no gate to keep.” Heimdall chuckled, willing to make light of the loss of the Bifrost. Loki wondered when Heimdall had gained a sense of humor. He imagined that perhaps he’d always had one and Loki had just never been allowed to see it. He couldn’t exactly blame the man, since he was frequently the target of Loki’s (and, by extension, Thor’s) pranks. His superpowered eyesight made him the best target; Loki liked a challenge, and Heimdall had been the biggest challenge.

“You seem to be settling into your new role as navigator well.” Loki squinted into space, wondering what he was looking at with his golden eyes. “I imagine that your all-seeing powers make you perfect for the job.”

“It would appear so.”

“And what do your eyes see?”

“A long and uncertain journey ahead of us. But with a hopeful end.” He flicked his eyes to Loki briefly, a twitch in his lips. “Also, there is an asteroid field to our left.”

Loki turned away to hide his own grin. Then, he sighed again. He wondered if Heimdall’s eyes were set on Midgard. What were the insipid and intrepid people of Earth doing at this moment? And, how would they react to the return of Thor’s insane sibling and the great green monster, along with a few hundred refugees from space? Heimdall called it a hopeful end. Maybe there was hope that the humans wouldn’t throw them out on their collective asses. He sincerely hoped that Thor was working on a plan to convince them that they came in peace. Loki just hoped that it wouldn’t involve him getting locked up in another glorified fish tank.

“Why, Loki?” Heimdall asked, snapping Loki out of his musings.

“Why?” He echoed the question back. He glanced at Heimdall, but he hadn’t turned. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“Why everything?” Heimdall elaborated. “Why begin your dealings with the Frost Giants that started all this? Why attack Earth? Why pretend to be Odin? And, why did you return to us? Why now?”

“Heimdall, the all-knowing, doesn’t have the answers?”

“You have always been proficient at hiding yourself from my gaze. You have been hiding your true self for a time that was, no doubt, longer than I had noticed. So, illuminate it for me.”

“Thor didn’t deserve to be king.” Loki explained after only a second of hesitation. “I had sought out the Frost Giants originally as a bit of fun, it became more serious once I discovered the truth that Odin hid from me, as you can imagine. Though I’d be lying if it wasn’t a sort of delicious irony. I used them to satisfy my spite and rage.”

“And does that spite and rage still reside in your heart, Loki?”

“Yes!” Loki spat, his whole body coiling tight, ready to spring. But Heimdall remained passive and cold. His lack of reaction extinguished Loki’s ire until it was but a smolder. “Though, it has perhaps diminished a bit with time and Odin’s passing.” He admitted.

“And Earth?”

“Mmm,” Loki hummed, “I made a deal with someone. I liked the idea of messing with Thor’s new favorite toy. When you think about it, I was really just following in Odin’s shadow. And speaking of the Allfather, I pretended to be him … simply because I could. Thor was preoccupied with Earth. Why shouldn’t I be king?”

“You really thought Thor so unworthy?”

“Unworthy?” Loki tested to word, rolling it around in his mouth and tasting it. “Maybe. Undeserving is perhaps a better word for it. I felt he hadn’t earned it.”

 

“And you had?” He could hear Heimdall’s judgmental incredulity.

 

“Perhaps not, but at least I had won it rather than had it given to me like a spoiled child.”

 

“As I recall, both you and your brother were spoiled by the Allfather and Allmother growing up.” Loki smiled. He couldn’t deny that. Odin and Frigga had spoiled them rotten, at least until the age of ten or eleven. They had certainly never been left wanting. “Do you still think your brother spoiled?”

 

“In truth? No.” Loki admitted. “I’ll let you in on a secret, since they would seem to be your favorite thing. During my time on the throne, my thoughts turned often to Thor.” This got a reaction out of the stoic gatekeeper. He raised one eyebrow. “I meditated on my brother’s daring actions in our breakout from Asgard and the cunning he showed. It still startles me to see him using his brain. He actually impressed me then, and again on Sakaar.

 

“And then there was his choice to turn down the Throne. It was everything that I had thought he’d wanted and he walked away. I wished many times to have your vision, to watch him and to try to learn who he had become when I wasn’t paying attention.

 

“And now, I have seen him out smart even me! He has become intelligent, clever ever. I was meant to be the clever one.” Loki said ruefully, clenching his fists. “He has always been brave, to the point of foolhardiness, but I always thought that I was so much _more_ than him. Now I feel as though he’s passed me up, while I remained stagnant, wasting my time playing at false king.”

 

“So, you won’t go after the throne again?” Heimdall questioned. And, to be fair, it was probably a question that someone should have asked him sooner.

 

“I think I’ve had my share. The throne didn’t really live up to my expectations, though I enjoyed the theatrics. Besides,” Loki swayed forward on to his toes and then back on to his heels as he spoke, “I told you, I only started after it because I thought I deserved it more than Thor. How could I call him undeserving after all he has done for the people, after seeing the man he’s become?”

 

“That is unexpectedly sentimental of you Loki.” Heimdall smiled at him, finally turning away from the window.

 

“Yes, well,” Loki grimaced and crossed his arms, “Everyone is always harping on about how I’m untrustworthy, I figured the least I could do is be honest every once and awhile. After all, I like to keep you on your toes.”

 

“I know you do.”

 

“Of course you do. You know everything.”

 

“And, in the interest of being honest,” Heimdall patted Loki on the shoulder, “I should tell you that Thor is just outside the door and has been listening in on most of our conversation.”

 

Loki froze and blinked slowly as Heimdall’s words penetrated him like a blunt nail to the forehead being hammered slowly and clumsily. Heimdall had the gall to smile warmly at him as though he hadn’t just doomed Loki to an uncomfortable confrontation with his brother.

 

“Of course he is.”

**Author's Note:**

> The next convo will take place between Thor & Loki and will take place directly after this. they have lots of things to talk about still! 
> 
> I've started working on my very long and indepth Loki discovering his heritage as a frost giant chapter fic. Its only in the planning stages right now. Its the first REALLY big project i've tackled like this and i'm basically treating it like a proper novel which means LOTS of planning. 
> 
> Also, I'm working on some art to help keep me inspired and creative about it will i work through all the details and lore. Here is a preview:   
> http://scifikimmi.tumblr.com/post/172983171568/braids


End file.
